The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Oppression

I began an internship for my bachelors in Child and Family Studies in the summer of 2001 that were required me to attend a conference/convention in Alabama. I was extremely excited about the opportunity to network with others in this field and work towards building contacts for future employment. I shared the good news with my parents about the conference in Alabama but it was not met with the same excitement. My grandmother and mother began to worry, frantically trying to rearrange their schedules so that I would have a chaperon. I was 23 years old and did not need a chaperon but I still struggled to understand why my family was not as supportive about me attending this conference. One night while out to dinner, my grandmother discussed the subject of me traveling alone to Alabama and her discomforts with the journey. She provided horrific details of the racism that she encountered during her visits to the state on numerous occasions. I decided to attend this event anyway despite the warning.

I arrive in Alabama still excited but was suddenly overcome by a heavily feeling that I couldn't quit decide. I eventually settled on the fact that it was a little "homesickness" coupled with the fact of missing my sons. I stopped by a local gas station to purchase some snacks trying to shake off this sudden feeling of "blues." I entered the crowded store in the small town and was suddenly welcomed with stares and tension in the air. The clerks and the people were chattering loudly when I entered but the conversations ended quickly as I stepped inside the store. Usually I am comfortable in almost any environment that I enter but there was something strange about this place, making me want to run away and hide quickly. One of the clerks came from behind the counter and began to follow me as I searched for snacks on each isle and was not trying to be discreet with her efforts. The other patrons stood around and whispered among themselves. I remember leaving the store quickly without the snacks or even putting gas in my car. I called my mother and grandmother at the next stop and informed me that I was on my way home, never making it to the conference.

This incident caused me to feel unequal and powerless in this small community because I didn't know what to expect from the community. The inequity that I felt was stereotyping and unworthy to be in the presence of the others in the story. The clerk coming from behind the counter made me feel stereotyped like she was expecting me to steal or waiting for me to take something at anytime.

The feelings the incident brought up for me was a strange fear, sadness and bitterness. I was scared (feared for my life) because I was not sure of what to expect and this was not something that I would have expected in 2001. I was bitter because I didn't expect this behavior or even this type of mindset to be present during this time. I know that Alabama has a long history of racial struggles but I was thinking that in modern day that the mindset would have improved just a little.

In order for this incident to turn into an opportunity for greater equity, there would have to be two major changes: people and mentalities. First, the people would have to want to change and accept that what was once deemed acceptable or the way of the community will not work in the present. Second, the mentality would have to change through exposure and constant interactions with people from different backgrounds. I returned to Alabama on several occasions since this incident and in some parts of the state (small little communities) that racism or prejudice in some still occurs but for the most part the state is definitely striving to catch up with the times.